Posted on Leave a comment

Please give me a job.

This I got forwarded to me in Friendster…
It’s the perfect resume don’t ya think? =)
> Address: Ephesians 1:20
> Phone: Romans 10:13
> Website: The Bible.
> Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
> Hello. My name is Jesus-The Christ. Many call me Lord! I’ve sent you my
> resume because I’m seeking the top management position in your heart.
> Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
> Qualifications:
> I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19) I
> formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7) I breathed into
> man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7) I redeemed man from the curse of
> the law, (See Galatians 3:13) The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes
> upon your life through me,(See Galatians 3:14)
> Occupational Background
> I’ve only had one employer, (See Luke2:49).
> I’ve never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
> My
> employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew3:15-17)
> Skills Work Experiences
> Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be
> poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing
> the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are
> bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
> I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6).
> People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See
> Proverbs 1:33).
> Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of
> your sins, (See I John1:7-9)
> Educational Background
> I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
> understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
> In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians
> 2:3).
> My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet
> and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
> I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
> Major Accomplishments
> I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15); I was
> an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See
> Genesis 1:26); I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show
> of them openly,(See Colossians 2:15); I’ve miraculously fed the poor, healed
> the sick and raised the dead There are many more major accomplishments, to
> many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at:
makeURL(” www dot – the BIBLE.”,”eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==”);www dot – the BIBLE.
> You don’t need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
> References
> Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings,
> salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
> In Summation
> Now that you’ve read my resume, I’m confident that I’m the only candidate
> uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation,
> I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into
> everlasting life, (See John6:47).
> When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).
> God bless!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *